Growing up in the country, one of the earliest memories involved walking through my grandfather’s barn. As a child, a cow seemed so intimidating. I was barely four feet tall and 40 pounds, while each cow was the same height but 1,100 pounds—27 times bigger than me. I would walk through the stanchions, where the cows were lined up for milking. It was like a sidewalk, and at the end was a large room. The walkway was surrounded by metal bars on three sides. My grandfather kept the bulls in that part of the barn. To reach the hayloft, it was necessary to pass through that room and climb the ladder. The bulls pushed their weight around, made scary grunts, and knocked their heads against the bars. It required all my courage.
Later in life, facing challenges like filing for divorce, closing a business, and raising twin boys presented even more fear. Survival seemed uncertain, and success felt even less likely. I was afraid of letting others down.
Given that life already holds enough scary moments, horror movies are definitely avoided. Why choose to be frightened on purpose? It took 10 years before finally watching The Silence of the Lambs, and only because I admired Anthony Hopkins for his ability to create amazing characters.
These days, politics is what feels truly frightening. Everything seems to be taken out of context and exaggerated to make a point. Living in a swing state means having even more of it shoved down our throats.
As I gain experience, it’s become clear that the mind can create mountains out of molehills. Tomorrow is another day; somehow, it will all work out. Most of what was once feared has been conquered. The one good thing about fear, is that it makes me feel more alive.
Happy October!
Mary Guldan-Lindstrom, CPA
